What Does One Wear When Taking Your Fiancé To The Wedding Of Your Friend Who Is Also His Ex Girlfriend?
Plus BBL Drizzy, Elkhorn Flea and Jalen Hurts dancing
Welcome back to another edition of Highly Recommended. I am so happy to report that we have a heat wave in Milwaukee so as I type this, it is over 90 degrees and I am outside and feeling amazing! I know that a lot of people do not enjoy the heat but I love it. I was never meant to be this north of the equator and my permanent Vitamin D deficiency confirms this. A few months ago, I read something about how sun exposure norms were set by studying fair-skinned people, meaning Europeans (shocker) and that actually, recommended sun exposure is something that is determined by one’s genetics. So, people who have African ancestry are descended from people who might have spent 10-12 hours in the sun which is why a Vitamin D deficiency is so common for Black people, especially Black women. We literally need MORE sun. I knew this without needing science to confirm it. So while I work on getting my fill for the next few days, I do think that everyone who had nordic ancestors should do what they say on the news and stay inside. This is one of the most interesting parts of my interracial relationship. Ryan gets sunburnt like a mofo and has less tolerance than I do for being in the sun so the things that make me happiest, fry him up, basically. But unfortunately, I have no sympathy for that right now because when the winter arrives, he walks around without a coat on and I am wearing Uniqlo heattech in October.
Before it got properly hot, I went to my first SummerFest concerts. On Thursday we went to see Ed Sheeran. At my request, we got grass seats. I have fond memories of summertime Dave Matthews Band concerts spread out in a tangle of bodies on a blanket, young and wasted. Please, yes, I know I was white-washed. See this book for explanation. Anyway, I imagined that the grass tickets would be like that memory. Reader, I was so wrong. Ryan kept pushing me to accept “seats” closer to the stage and I told him absolutely not. First of all…the “seats” in question were actually just a row of bleachers. And second of all, why do I need to see Ed Sheeran that close? I really think he’s more meant to be listened to. Of course, I won and we got grass seats but the grass must have been oversold because when I got up there it felt like being in third class on the Titanic. We were just squeezed in there on a hill, with barely any space for a blanket and once Ed Sheeran began performing, everyone stood up so if you also didn’t stand, you couldn’t see anything. Next to us, we met an 18 year old boy who proudly shared that it was his birthday. Then, about 30 minutes later, his mother and sister arrived. His mother kept buying him, his sister and their friend beers and as the night wore on, they consumed at least 6 each. These were not the regular sized beers, by the way, they were the extra large kind. Like I said, I’m no prude, I too was drunk on a grassy knoll at 18, but not WITH MY MOTHER. Then, toward the slow down/romantic portion of the set, the kid’s drunk friend started making a move on his sister. I couldn’t believe my eyes. We walked home after Ed Sheeran sang, Perfect, the song that he does a duet to with Beyoncé. I had seen enough.
And then on Saturday, we went to see Soulidified and if you don’t know who that is, congratulations, you are marked safe from having watched the Netflix reality show, Building the Band which was like a combination of Love Is Blind and Making the Band. Gabby, Ryan and I got hooked on it last summer because we started watching it as a bit and then became addicted which is literally an advertisement for not doing drugs if you ask me. Anyway, I am so happy for the boys and it was so nice to see how far they have come since the show. In a very corny way, I love to see people follow their dreams.
Last weekend, Ryan and I also went to the famous Elkhorn Flea. This is a flea market with 500 vendors an hour outside of Milwaukee. It only happens once a month in the summer months and we missed the one in May because Ryan was traveling so we HAD to make it to this one. It was a very cool event but also extremely overwhelming. As first timers, I am not sure that we were quite prepared for the scale of it and for dealing with everyone’s individual preferences and policies. Some vendors had prices on their stuff, some didn’t. Most wanted to haggle which I hate. There were a lotttt and I mean a lot of American flags and just kind of weird 20th century “Americana” things for sale. I don’t really like that stuff. What am I going to do with an old plate with Kennedy’s face on it? There were a lot of plates actually and a lot of presidential memorabilia. I am not a plate-wall kind of gal. If you like that kind of kitschy cottage thing, then this is the place for you. It was harder for me because for home decor, I like natural materials, things that are handmade and well-made and things that invoke a global sensibility. This is why the New Orleans antique scene was so superior. You have no idea the gems that are floating around there! Plus, the city was colonized by the Spanish and then the French, both of whom have TASTE, honey. The Catholics like to stunt. Who was Wisconsin settled by? The PRACTICAL Europeans. The non-flashy ones. The concept of plain was invented here and it continues to thrive. The other thing they don’t prepare you for, or at least I wasn’t prepared for, the little racist trinkets they are being sold under the guise of “antiques”. So many mammy dolls, picannines, salt and pepper shakers and horrible little pieces of history just up for grabs. There were also countless indigenous items for sale that seemed to be totally ahistorical and without context. I know this because when I asked questions of the vendors, they told me they sourced things “from Africa” but could not say where. I counted two other Black PEOPLE in attendance out of thousands at the flea market. It was stressful to say the least. If you want to know what these things look like and maybe have seen them in your parents or grandparents house, go here. And before you go and think that the Midwest is “different” because it is technically “the North”, the link directs you to a museum in Grand Rapids, MI. Wisconsin is one of the most racist places I’ve ever lived, I actually think it is significantly worse than Louisiana because it is so effectively segregated. Anyways, I was not going to let a little American ignorance stop me from my shopping mission and we ended up with some decor for the living room and dining room, but no art, which was our primary motivation for going. If you have a burning desire to fill your home with alcohol paraphernalia, this is the place for you to be. Also, on another positive note, Ryan was able to get a corn dog. Man with his phallic snack tax, below.
Overall, I am enjoying this heatwave and looking forward to the upcoming weekend and hopefully, I won’t get 40,000 steps. I need to sleep. Let’s get into this week’s recommendations.
